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Both stung horrendously and though others, in an effort to balm the hurt, urged that they should not be taken seriously, they were taken as serious expressions of blame, judgment and even hostility to the type of motherhood mine was. This label is rarely used in today’s discourse, the pejorative connotations – to be “not-married” – do not sit well with our view of ourselves as having moved beyond such value-laden attitudes.
After all, even in the case of the classic “nuclear” family, one in three is now headed by a cohabiting couple.
And when Hannah and Nick met, they both had children from previous relationships. And, because Soulmates members tend to be kind and understanding, it meant that they gained the confidence to go out and meet up with people they were interested in.
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A single mother’s lot in Ireland today is clearly a world away from this.
My now four-year-old son was six months old when a man – educated, urbane, older than I was – shouted at me: “If you didn’t want the child, you should have kept your knickers on.” I was coming out of, what both I and my son’s father would now agree, had become an impossibly difficult relationship.
Take your time and browse around to search for other members who have similar interests to you.
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To be a poor single mother, however, or worse, a single mother dependent on the State, is still to be stigmatised as having failed.
Too often, exacted from these women and their children is the right to participate in society.